Slashy wisdom II

"When you've got two best friends you always think one's secretly in love with the other. It's always about unrequited love".

~ Russell. T. Davies, 1998.

Thorne/Hendricks

These two are a largely unknown slash, but ever since i first encountered them i have been very taken with them. They are DI Tom Thorne and pathologist Phil Hendricks from Mark Billingham's very successful detective novels. But no no, that is not all. They have recently been brought to life off the page by none other than David Morrissey and Aidan Gillen (respectively).

Thorne and Hendricks are a fabulous couple to slash because they act very much like an old married couple making them very easy to play with. The characters in the books are very slashy; Hendricks is an out gay man who is an adrenaline junkie whilst Thorne is a divorced alcoholic. Both are devoted to their jobs, which they love and hate in equal measure, and their views of the world are jaded and often bitter. But they find love with each other. They are both massive football fans and it is that which forms the foundation for their relationship, that and their bitching about their fellow colleagues and theorising about their latest cases. They eat together, go to the pub together, share sensitive information with each other, ring each other at all hours, confide in each other, talk about their love lives with each other and watch TV together (and fall asleep together). Indeed, by book number 4 Hendricks has moved in with Thorne!

Aside from the lashings of potential slash Mark Billingham bestows upon us there is another reason why i will always love Thorne and Hendricks. And that is the unrequited love story. Hendricks loves Thorne. I mean really loves him. It is blindingly obvious to everyone but Thorne. And when Thorne is a bastard (which he often is) it really hurts Hendricks, but try as he might to walk away he just can't bring himself to do it. They absolutely depend upon each other and would be nothing standing alone.

Did i also mention Thorne happens to be one of the campest straight men ever?

And Hendricks is a big massive flirt?

And that they seem to spend alot of time together at the side of rivers?

They watch late night internet porn together. Obviously.

And engage in lots of phone sex.

Thorne holds Hendricks' hand whilst he has his tattoos done (a square on the pattern on his arm for every boyfriend...i'm pretty damn sure Thorne is the biggest square of the lot!)

And the sexual tension between them is palpable.

And leads to lots of man handling...

Blatant slash!

They proposition each other at the most inappropriate times...

During post mortems:

Over dead bodies:

At crime scenes:

During late night excavations:

And across a shot man who happens to be bleeding to death:

But when Hendricks wants Thorne he is very determined...

He can demand his body at any time...

And Thorne is powerless to resist...

But then Hendricks has alot to offer...

But not everything is rosey in the world of Thorne and Hendricks. Hendricks loves Thorne in ways Thorne has never loved anyone (well maybe his wife, but i'll breeze over that point) and when Thorne knocks him back it breaks Hendricks' heart.

And later, when Thorne accuses Hendricks' of betraying his confidence, he breaks his heart all over again.

In fact, Thorne constantly breaks Hendricks' heart.

And though he tries to walk away, he never quite manages it.

Because it's Thorne and Hendricks against the world...

And Hendricks wants Thorne to save him from himself. And he will save him for himself.

Because they're good together. Thorne knows exactly what makes Hendricks tick.

And exactly how to get him where he wants him.

This is Dave Holland putting Hendricks in handcuffs. Holland in Thorne's DS, his deputy, his partner, and all round good egg. Thorne often gets Holland to do his dirty work for him.

Make a pretty threesome don't they? Hendricks seems to thinks so... ;)



And who knows how their relationship will develop. I may have to keep adding to this blog as and when i a) read the next novel in the series or b) another novel is dramatised and televised.

Stuart/Vince

This couple are my first and probably truest love. I saw Queer As Folk when it was first aired on Channel 4 in 1999 - i was 11 years old. I watched it with the volume off and one hand on the off button just in case someone caught me watching it. I knew it was far too advanced for my years but i was instantly hooked on the boys. After the first airing i didn't watch the series again until 2008 when i bought the collector's boxset, but i instantly fell in love with the series all over again. Aside from being something of a sexual awakening, Queer As Folk was also my first introduction to Russell. T. Davies - another love story that continues to run.

Anyway, i realise Stuart and Vince aren't the most widely referenced couple these days, given QAF was so long ago, and also given that the British (and original) QAF series seems to have been somewhat eclipsed by the American version, so i shall endeavour to introduce the boys to you so that you can fully understand and appreciate their relationship.

Here are the boys, from left to right; Nathan, Stuart and Vince. Stuart and Vince are best friends, and have been since they were 14 years old. They have never slept together, though Stuart did once attempt to wank Vince off but his Mum interrupted them, and as Vince says, "it's not sex if you don't come". Vince is absolutely besotted with Stuart. Everyone knows it except Stuart. Stuart is completely self obsessed and spends his days making lots of money and his nights have lots of sex. Nathan is one such conquest. He is the 15 year old one night stand that won't go away, and he too is besotted with Stuart.

It is Stuart and Vince's relationship which i slash. This is because it isn't *strictly* canon. Stuart and Nathan sleep together quite a bit throughout the series, Stuart and Vince do not. There are lots of hints and near misses, but they never actually get together. This is what makes me love them infinitely. I do love a good unrequitted love story.

Stuart/Vince are the bestest of very best friends. They would do anything for each other. They love each other. Vince is in love with Stuart and longs for the day when he will run out of nobodies to cop off with and take him as his life partner. Stuart is in love with Vince, though he would never, EVER, admit it. Not even to himself.

They have know each other forever.

They like to play Titanic - Vince is always Kate Winslet.

You can totally see how in love with Stuart Vince is...

Until Stuarts starts mucking about claiming he can feel Vince's hard on - it has been a long time since Vince had sex. Vince rarely cops off, not because he doesn't get offers but because he is blindly devoted to Stuart.

And in this cap you can see how protective Stuart is of Vince. He loves him a hell of alot more than he is letting on.

When they go out the boys often take drugs together. Whilst high Vince often witters on to Stuart about his Doctor Who obsession.

Here they are sharing an E.

They are never happier than when in each other's company.

Stuart would be lost without Vince.

As well as being his best friend, Vince acts as Stuart's fake boyfriend to get him out of tricky situations.

**Also in this cap you can see Stuarts silver bracelet. Stuart and Vince wear matching silver bracelets throughout the series. They are never mentioned or referenced, but they are always there.

I think the body language speaks for itself here.

For Vince's 30th birthday Stuart throws him a big fuck off party.

And Stuart gives Vince the birthday present he has always craved. A proper snog.

He also gets him the second best thing in the world (after the snog, obviously) - a full size replica of K9!! I told you Vince was cool.

However, the party and K9 were something of a ruse. Prior to the party, Vince has taken up with a boyfriend - the Australian (and evil) Cameron. Stuart knows that Vince will never fully commit to Cameron, and find happiness, unless he lets him go. And so he is a complete bastard to Vince, so much so that Vince is forced to leave his own birthday party early and refuse to speak to Stuart ever again.

This makes all fans of the Stuart/Vince very sad indeed *sniffs*

But wait, they are big enough and brave enough to meet up again. Vince hopes this lunch is the start of their new, purely platonic, relationship. Stuart however knows this lunch is his chance to say goodbye and walk out of Vince's life for good.

During the course of the meal Vince expresses his worries about Cameron's suitability as a life partner, to which Stuart replies, "Give him six months and he'll be able to name all the Doctor Whos, in order; William Hartnell, Patrick Troughton, Jon Pertwee, Tom Baker, Peter Davison, Colin Baker, Sylvester McCoy. "What about Paul McGann?" "Paul McGann doesn't count". Vince is totally bowled over. Stuart was listening to his Doctor Who drivel all those years!

As Vince continues to criticise his relationship with Cameron Stuart makes to leave. With these final words of wisdom; "You can't love him because you don't love yourself. You've done nothing, Vince. You go to work, you go for a drink, you sit and watch cheap science fiction. Small and tiny world. What is there that's so impressive about that? What is there to love?". Vince looks suitably forlorn, and as his parting line, Stuart throws in, "It was good enough for me."

*sobs*

This revelation prompts Vince to call Cameron and ask him to name all the Doctor Whos. Cameron can only manage 3. This is not good enough for Vince and he breaks up with him there and then and walks off to find Stuart. As he does he shouts into the night (quoting an episode of Doctor Who) "Unrequited love. It's fantastic, 'cause it never has to change, it never has to grow up and it never has to die!"

And the boys are not apart for too long. Vince beckons Stuart to join him on the podium, and they dance the night away....

And that was the end of series 1.

We rejoin the boys in series 2.

Where they are still very much best friends.

And they very nearly get together...

Vince and Stuart attend Vince's half sister's wedding. During the course of the evening Stuart finds himself outside with Vince's Mum, Hazel. Hazel knows Vince is in love with Stuart, and has been ever since he was 14 years old. So goes the conversation;

Hazel: Did you never fancy Vince? I’d look at you, 14 years old, hormones all over, you’d have shagged a letterbox, but not him...

Stuart: (laughing) Nope

Hazel: You saying my son’s ugly?

Stuart: You gotta fancy him, never mind love, love can fuck off.

This is as close to admitting he is in love with Vince as he will ever come. And following such a rare display of emotional honesty, Stuart decides to do something about him and Vince. He determinedly strides into the ballroom where Vince is sat at a table...

And asks him to dance.

Vince knows instinctively what he means. And he can't believe his luck!

Stuart loves how in love with him Vince so clearly is.

They make the perfect couple.

And then Stuart asks Vince if he wants to stay the night?

And they leave hand in hand.

Their mutual friend, Alexander comments that that was quick. Hazel replies, "Only took them 16 years".

They go upto Stuart's room, strip off, and then...

Sleep the night apart.

So near and yet so far.

But the morning after they are both still smiling. It just wasn't meant to be. Stuart knows that that was him giving a relationship with Vince a chance. And he knows that that has to be the end of it...

So he does what he does best. He is a bastard so he pisses Vince off enough not to want to know him.

*rolls eyes*

And then Stuart leaves for America. But at the last minute Vince catches up with him and asks to go with him. Stuart is reluctant at first but soon realises that a fresh start for the pair of them might be exactly what they need to make a relationship work between them?

So they leave Manchester, and Canal Street, and Nathan, and their jobs, and their families, and their pasts.

And they go on a big fucking adventure!

Holding hands as they go...

And this is the happy ending Russell. T. gives us:

Russell. T. i doth my cap.

Stuart and Vince (2000- )